Monday, November 14, 2011

How do you handle Disappointment?


This past weekend was another big disappointment for me. For the second month in a row I missed out on the local trade days. It was supposed to be my big weekend! My moment of triumph! My chance to contribute to my family!

And it sooooo didn’t happen :(

Every thing was going perfectly! I was organized. I remembered business cards. I even had bags for customers to their purchases in. Mule even got home from work on time ( a real rarity around here), we loaded up and headed to the market grounds.

We pulled up to the office where we were supposed to check in. I was new to all this and didn’t realize that I needed my purse with me (the one thing I left at home!). So I ran into the office, begged to be allowed in and explained that I’d come back as soon as Mule could get my purse. I got a little lecture, but was given grace and allowed in.

Meanwhile, Mule was in the truck with all the stuff, reading a sign that was posted about requirements for vendors. I finished in the office and hopped back in the truck excited to get set up. Mule looked at me and said “Honey, you don’t have a vendor’s permit do you?”

Nope. I didn’t. I had no idea one was required. I started to freak out… surely its not that big of a deal I told him. He wasn’t convinced… so he went into the office to talk to the lady from the city. It was a big deal. If you set up with out a permit the city could and WOULD fine you $5.000 and even possibly throw you in jail. I couldn’t believe it! When I called to inquire about a booth, I asked the city employee what I needed to get one… I was told $20 and my name was all that was required. So needless to say, I had no idea a vendor permit was required. Obviously we weren’t going to risk those kind of penalties, so Mule turned the truck around and drove us back home.

Even now writing this I’m fighting tears and I remember the feeling of utter defeat. I was beyond consoling, and the poor man tried. I’ve put so much time and money into building up inventory. I was counting on the money from the sales I was going to make. I had pretty much already spent it in my mind. The money was going to go towards getting the fabric I need to make my wedding dress and the rest to Christmas.

Even though I didn’t know about the vendor permit, I felt like I let my family down. I had deviated from our standard budget in order to get some extra supplies and needed items for the weekend. I felt like a complete failure. It took me most of the day, large pot of coffee more than a little chocolate and a good, long cry to deal with the disappointment and frustration.

I got some sympathetic and consoling texts from a few friends and they helped pull me out of my funk. One friend told me to go on pinterest, find something new and make myself something. So I did! And I started to get my mojo back.

I got a whole bunch of things from my Christmas list made and ready to send back home. I got editing done that I originally wasn’t going to be able to touch until Monday done. And I even did some cleaning!

I handle every disappointment differently, with the exception of one element… Time. It takes me time to be able to process things and move forward. Sometimes I can bounce back in minutes and sometimes it takes days. Some disappointments involve retail therapy and some unfortunate amounts of chocolate. But I am learning how to handle these moments of disappointment and move on from them quicker. Life is about learning and sometimes its about learning how to cope.

That was my weekend… I hope yours was much better!


  1. Gosh, I think you did a great job of turning yourself around. Even though you were disappointed by it all, your family knows that you did your best. Wishing for a successful run next time!

  2. I also think you did your best, and it's certainly not your fault if they didn't tell you that a vendor's licence was required.
    Don't worry, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (we say in Italy)... and you can always sell your stuff on the next market, you'll have even some more and you'll hit it off :)

  3. Omg! I love this story! I am sorry for your loss, but it takes an incredible amount of courage and vulnerability to admit how you were feeling. You did your best...and everything happens for a reason. One of my biggest disappointments I will never ever forget..being young and in design school (FIT in NYC) uber competitive and pretty cut throat. We have term garments that we are graded on from the first day of the semester and we drape them, cut and draft patterns, chose our fabrics, and eventually sew them...being my first semester I was sooooo proud and anxious and all of those emotions...coming into the final stages of grading (like a project runway moment) The teacher comes over to my garment on the form...the one I tirelessly slaved over, week after week, to perfect... And my teacher looks at it, nods her head.umhum...spins it around on the dress form uhmhum..I love it!...but she leans over very slow ( all 70+ years of her) and says...but honey you have made it on the wrong side of the fabric and therefore you fail....I completely lost my mind...but she says "if you turn it back in tomrw... I will reconsider" Mind you the whole class cut from the same fabric, so it would be a collection (damn white pique)...SO I called my mom balling..." I need money MOM!!! I have to run to the fabric stores before they close in the middle of Manhattan at 5pm!!! Crying like a crazy person!!! LMAO!!! BUT I got the fabric (similar enough to the pique) finished and turned it in and got a B+...But I wanted an A. I will never forget that ever...I will always check my fabric, the selvages, the grains...always and forever Amen...And you will always have it together at your future trade shows, and be prepared, and will never forget that moment...because you will triumph at the next one...and laugh at this story someday, like I do now! and that was 15 yrs ago and I remember it like it was yesterday!...coming by from chasing rainbow. :) come by and say hi!

  4. I'm so sorry to hear you didn't make it to that craft show. When's the next one? There's a saying in Hebrew that means "every delay is for the best". Maybe it was not meant to be. Hopefully the next craft fair will be so much better! Best of luck!


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